Taric's Truly Outrageous Tales
by atyinso
Summary: The League had champions from all different backgrounds that called the Institute of War their home. Taric learns that all of them are truly, truly, truly outrageous. Some of them were even more outrageous than gems, and that's what's truly outrageous.
"Honestly, the nerve of that woman, suggesting that there's no difference between rubies and garnets! I could hardly restrain myself from lecturing her about the subject." Taric sighed, frustrated, as he refilled his cup of tea. "Would you like some more as well?"

Sona nodded with a smile and held out an empty teacup. Taric took it from her and poured the fresh brew. He revelled in the sweet aroma as the strong scent filled the room, handing the porcelain cup back to her. "How did you come across so much of this tea, Sona? Isn't this one of the most expensive ones on the market? It's got an absolutely marvelous taste."

Sona gently placed her cup on the low table, setting it down on a small plate. She rolled up her sleeves so they hung loosely at her elbows and made several different movements with her hands and fingers.

«One of my lovely fans sent me a rather large package of it last week.»

"Ah, of course. I forget you're such a big celebrity sometimes, but I can certainly see why. I must say, you're a very interesting person and your music is absolutely gorgeous. You have an unrivaled charm, my dear."

Sona covered her mouth as she smiled bashfully, signing with one hand as she reached for the plate of biscuits.

«Thank you, but it's a little creepy how much my fans know about me sometimes. Information about my favorite type of tea is harmless enough, but I'm still concerned about how one of them managed to track my… menstruation cycle, and send feminine products to me every time it started.»

Taric shook his head in disbelief. "Outrageous."

Sona pursed her lips as she chewed, small bits of crumbs sticking to them. «I suppose it could be seen as a considerate thing to do but even so, it's also ridiculously creepy.»

"Truly."

«Don't your fans send you weird stuff too?» Sona tilted her head inquisitively.

Ah, yes. Taric was a rather well-liked champion among the female audience for some reason. It was probably the gems.

"Yes, although I'm afraid I don't have nearly as many admirers as you. You have more, so there's a larger chance for you to receive strange things from them." Taric chuckled as Sona pouted.

«That's unfair.»

"Oh? Don't you think the perks of fame outweigh the cons?"

«Yes, and I appreciate them, but I really wish I didn't receive so many… vulgar gifts.»

Taric nodded his head in agreement. "I understand. I will never understand why some people are so perverted."

Taric himself knew those kinds of gifts too well.

He had a rapidly growing collection of gay porn, thanks to some of his fans.

Not that he was complaining.

But he would never admit that.

Taric blinked a few times to get some images out of his head. "But never mind that. Tell me, how could someone not be interested in learning about gems? Truly outrageous." He was still upset about his earlier conversation. To disrespect gems was to disrespect him, and it was absolutely unacceptable.

Sona giggled silently. «I don't know. It's completely unbelieveable.»

Taric frowned. "Sona, this is serious! I'd appreciate it if you weren't being sarcastic."

Sona's smile left her face and she bit into the half-eaten biscuit with feigned anger. «Fine, have it your way. But honestly, you have to understand that not everyone shares the same interests as you. I'll gladly listen to you talk about gems, but you have to keep in mind that some people just don't care about gems.»

Taric recoiled as if she just slapped him across the face, which she might as well have done. "But she asked! I was just minding my own business in a jewelry store when that heathen approached me. She shouted so loud I almost dropped a ruby I was examining. Luckily, I had a fierce grip on it."

He cleared his throat, preparing to imitate the voice of the crude individual. "'Hey, gem boy! Which one of these rubies should I buy for Cupcake? I wanna make something fancy for her.'" Taric couldn't quite make himself sound as uncultured as Vi. He was far too civilized for it.

"And so I walked over, happy to give guidance in my field of expertise, to see the gems she was looking at, and there they were.

"Garnets. It was absolutely undeniable that they were garnets. But she just continued talking about her plans for them as if they were rubies! I was truly astonished.

"I couldn't help myself; I had to correct her. 'Vi, darling, those are not rubies! Those are garnets.' But she just looked at me as if I was crazy.

"'What's the difference?' What's the difference?! I felt faint. Why, I had never witnessed such ignorance before then! How could someone not know the difference? But she just continued to stare at me, and that's when I knew it was a truly hopeless case.

"Needless to say, I left immediately after purchasing a rather exquisite emerald for myself." He held up a large gem and admired its beauty.

A truly gorgeous specimen, if he did say so himself.

He sighed, exasperated. "I just wanted to shop in peace, but it seems that's too much of a wish here at the Institute. There's always something weird happening."

As Taric finished his rant, he put a hand to his forehead. Recounting the tale was giving him a headache.

Perhaps some more tea would help.

Sona's hands began to move unsurely. «Was that really worth calling an emergency meeting for? To be honest, I thought you'd been rejected by you-know-who from the way you were acting.»

Taric winced. "Let's not talk about that right now."

«I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so crass.»

He waved her off, although he was really hurt inside. "It's fine. Let's talk about more positive things. I'd hate for the tea to taste bitter with all this negativity."

He sipped his tea gingerly, holding back tears.

Be strong, Taric. Be strong for Father.

Sona smiled as she began signing with quick motions. «Did you hear about the new salad bar that's being implemented in the dining hall? I heard it's going to have genuine bacon bits. Not those cheap imitations.»

Taric forgot about his melancholy immediately. "Of course I did, darling, although I'm more excited for the seasoned croutons myself."

Sona's eyes lit up. «This is the first time I've heard about that! That's going to be even better than the bacon bits.»

"I agree."

Taric paused.

"Okay, but I still don't understand ho—"

Sona held a finger to his lips to shush him, shooting him a sharp glare.

«Taric, please calm down. I get it; you're passionate about gems, but you're honestly worked up over nothing. You're my friend and I'm trying to be supportive, but I'm rather upset with you right now, if you haven't noticed. I had to postpone a private performance for this.»

Taric's lips pressed together tightly. "I'm sorry."

Sona sighed silently. «You should feel lucky the performance was for Swain. You know how he is; he can't hate anything about me. I still can't believe the Grand General of Noxus is my biggest fan though.»

"Me neither. It's strange to see that old man practically idolize you, especially since you're Demacian."

«I think he just ignores that part about me. I'm not sure he would like me as much if I wasn't Ionian by birth, but I could be wrong.»

"Why doesn't the king of Demacia just order you to make Swain stop… um, doing whatever it is he's doing?" Taric wasn't very informed about how politics work in Valoran, but he knew about the animosity between Demacia and Noxus.

Sona began to sign, but she paused abruptly for a second before continuing. «I… I don't know, actually. Maybe it's because that would make him look weak? Although I'm not sure he even knows about Swain's obsession with me.»

"Didn't Swain buy every single ticket for your first DJ concert?"

Sona nodded. «It was certainly… interesting, to see that the only person in the audience was the leader of Noxus. I had to ask him to refrain from doing that again and tell him to just contact me through the League instead if he wanted a private performance.

«Like he did last week. For today.» Sona's eyes shot daggers at Taric.

He held his hands up in a placating manner. "In my defense, I didn't know about it."

«Lies. I told you about it the day after he commissioned it.»

"I suppose it slipped my mind then. My apologies."

Sona kept up the glare before she broke out in a smile. «I'm just teasing you, Taric. Lighten up!»

Taric frowned at her antics. "Today's been a very distressful day, Sona. You know I can't just 'lighten up'."

She gave a comforting smile. «I'm sure it has been, but I think I know what'll cheer you up.»

Taric raised an immaculately trimmed eyebrow at the mute. "What?"

«There's going to be a three-legged race in the Institute's courtyard in half an hour. Winners get a new "skin" to wear on the Fields of Justice.»

Taric's jaw dropped.

"Why didn't you tell me about this sooner? Actually, why haven't I heard about this? No, you know what? I don't even care about that anymore. Let's go!"


End file.
